Dear Annie,
I am thirsty.
Very thirsty!
The only thing keeping me sitting here so patiently is the knowledge that I can easily get out of my seat at any moment, go to the kitchen and drink a glass of water.
If, for some reason, I realized that there was no water, I'd absolutely panic. I'd feel that I was on the verge of dehydration! I would be wondering how I had survived this long without a drink, and praying my last prayer.
Instead, I can type this calmly and rationally... and even take the time to try and be just a little bit witty...
Love,
Taintedsky
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Movie Sweater
Dear Annie,
As a single 29 year old, I have finally learned the joys of going to a movie all by myself. It is quite nice, actually. I am able to eat at whichever restaurant I choose, and I don't have to feel guilty for watching a movie I want to see and no one else does.
I don't go that often... but when I do, it's an event! I pull back my slightly unkempt hair into a pony tail, and throw on my movie sweater. Yes, that's right! I have a favorite sweater to wear to the movies. Normally clothing wears out after a while. Not this sweater. I must have washed it hundreds of times and it still looks brand new. In fact, I've had it for eleven years. It is the most amazingly comfortable sweater in the world... it is red... plaid... polyester... and the thing is three sizes too big for me. It belonged to my high school sweetheart, Michael Bork.
Michael dumped me for my ex-roommate Breanna right after I graduated. The two of them were married last year, but I STILL HAVE THE SWEATER. I'm thoroughly convinced that I got the better deal.
Some may find this odd... firstly that I would keep it, and secondly that I would be so fond of the thing as to tote it along on my solitary movie expeditions, but I do not attach sentiments to objects like some people do. That is simply unhealthy behavior.
I suppose I'll throw it out the day I get married. Perhaps it can be the "something old" or, even better the "something borrowed" at my wedding. Though I suppose if I marched down the aisle wearing that wretched thing it would be a lot more difficult for the poor fellow facing me to say "I do!"
Oh well... a little test of true devotion never hurt anyone.
Cheerio,
Taintedsky
As a single 29 year old, I have finally learned the joys of going to a movie all by myself. It is quite nice, actually. I am able to eat at whichever restaurant I choose, and I don't have to feel guilty for watching a movie I want to see and no one else does.
I don't go that often... but when I do, it's an event! I pull back my slightly unkempt hair into a pony tail, and throw on my movie sweater. Yes, that's right! I have a favorite sweater to wear to the movies. Normally clothing wears out after a while. Not this sweater. I must have washed it hundreds of times and it still looks brand new. In fact, I've had it for eleven years. It is the most amazingly comfortable sweater in the world... it is red... plaid... polyester... and the thing is three sizes too big for me. It belonged to my high school sweetheart, Michael Bork.
Michael dumped me for my ex-roommate Breanna right after I graduated. The two of them were married last year, but I STILL HAVE THE SWEATER. I'm thoroughly convinced that I got the better deal.
Some may find this odd... firstly that I would keep it, and secondly that I would be so fond of the thing as to tote it along on my solitary movie expeditions, but I do not attach sentiments to objects like some people do. That is simply unhealthy behavior.
I suppose I'll throw it out the day I get married. Perhaps it can be the "something old" or, even better the "something borrowed" at my wedding. Though I suppose if I marched down the aisle wearing that wretched thing it would be a lot more difficult for the poor fellow facing me to say "I do!"
Oh well... a little test of true devotion never hurt anyone.
Cheerio,
Taintedsky
Call... Waiting...
Dearest Annie,
I hate call waiting.
Nothing is more annoying than talking with a friend on the phone, only to be ditched for an incoming call. That being said, it is very odd now to call your home line and be met with the interminable "busy" signal. I feel so... helpless! I cannot even leave you a message!
Yesterday I called and your line was busy. I tried a little later... still busy...
........
frustration sets in..............................
still busy.......
....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
It's been an hour now. I get impatient. I call again. Still busy.........
Finally I call twice in a row, with only perhaps twenty seconds between each call, and to my shock and horror, Jim picks up.
JIM: Helloooo?
LISA: Uh... Oh hiii Jim... It's Lisa.... is... Annie there?
JIM: Have you been trying to call this whooole time?
LISA: Um... no.... I haven't been calling incessantly... every minute... for the past hour. I have a life... I'm at work.... I'm, you know, busy and stuff....
JIM: No... of course you wouldn't do thaaaat...
Moral of the story: GET CALL WAITING!
Much Love and Devotion,
Taintedsky
Monday, February 9, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Sadness
Dear Annie,
Do you ever feel mortal? Sometimes I'll touch my skin and think of all the muscles, sinews, organs, bones and blood that lay just beneath the surface. I can't quite fathom how I'm a living, breathing, thinking, feeling human being. Probably the closest one can get to being solely spirit is to be in a quiet, dark, weightless, soundless environment.
When I got home from work today, I filled my bathtub with hot water, turned out all the lights, and closed the bathroom door. Then I immersed myself to the point where the only part of me above the water was my nose. I stayed this way for a long time.
Have you ever opened your eyes underwater? I'm assuming most people have. It is odd, though, opening your eyes and seeing nothing but darkness. There is no real way for your eyes to tell that they are in water at all!
In boarding academy I used to drag my plastic desk chair into the shower stalls. There was an endless supply of hot water and I would sit in there for well over an hour with my eyes closed. Sometimes I would take a book. My favorite book was Peter Pan. It is a shorter story, and I think I printed most of it out onto one piece of paper and laminated it. That way it wouldn't get wet.
I went swimming at 5:30 this morning in the rain. What is it about water that is so soothing?
Well, sorry for this brooding blog. I do believe it is time for me to sleep. Hopefully it will be a good 12 hours before I am conscious again...
Love,
Lisa
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Just for Kicks.
Some of my Myspace stalkers:
Arthur:
hello like to meet u . u look nice
and it is a nice smile on your face.
beautiful girl. what to become friends
and talk on internet.
Whipple:
Hi Lisa, I must admit that I laughed when I read that at some point laundry is inevidible!! NICE My mother doesn't say I should marry a farmer, but she would like to see me move back to the midwest. I loved reading your profile and as far as the Bible goes a couple of my fav books are Laments (gets pretty deep when it talks of mother's eating their children) and Luke. I don't mean to sound boring picking a gospel, but Luke tells it in a way the other 3 just don't.
I wanna meet a down-to-earth, cool girl like you so check out my profile and if ya have time look at SpiderBABY, my number 2 friend. I am the drummer in the band, it's my dream and my passion! Take care and hope to hear from ya....
Whip
G:
I went through your profile inside out and the first thing that got my attention was your pics. I dont know how you look so damn cute? It cant be just the great angles ;) Of course then I also took some more time and read your profile to see that we got a few things in common. Well if you like what you see over here and read my profile as well, maybe we can talk sometime? I do want to emphasize reading my profile.. since I like to stay honest.
Oh yea Im not tryin to get into your panties..so dont get em up in a bunch already. And feel free to holla at me on AIM as ________ and YAHOO as ______. I m just givin that out to you since you dont seem like a stalker.
Hit me up if you like
-G
be easy
Do not open till xmas
ha- you're soo impatient! ;p i read your page and there's something interesting i noticed about you. im curious.. what are your thoughts on being romantic? like, when is it too early to display that side of you when you're just getting to know someone?
*~*~Sweetie~*~* (there are no words)
hi
how r u ?
i m tiffanie
do u mind being friends or u have yahoo IM to chat
Dr. Peter
Hi
I just saw your profile on myspace and see that you are single and not that far away from me. I live in Irvine. I would like to get to know you better. I am a down to earth person. I am fairly educated, got a doctorate in Satellite communication systems, used to work for NASA. I own a small engineering firm in Irvine. I am musical and I play the violin. Like the outdoors, surfing, skiing, tennis etc.
You can call me or email me, maybe we can get together for a coffee or something more. If interested, my email is _______ and my yahoo messenger is _______.
My cell phone is ______
Peter
Link
soooo, how's that whole 'im hot' thing going for ya? because you are...very hot.
My most eager internet suitor ever was a guy named Tom. His first email he sent me was this (and I should never have written back!):
i like your profile... but why huckabee ?? its interesting how he came from nowhere and now he is the front runner.. please explain :-)
Half way through our communication he sent this:
so tell me more about you what do you want to do with your life? I am planning to retire early and travel the world. im going to Italy in a few months. it should be fun in going wine tasting there . lol its going to be so much fun. I trying to set rooming with my suppliers so I can stay at the vineyards. oh yeah.do you like wine?
you should also know im very old fashioned I think the man should take care of his wife and family. I don't even think I want my wife to work while the children are young and not in school. well.. since im putting all the cards on the table.. i should explane this better.. i come from a very wealthy family.. my parents are in the process of passing money to me that way i dont have to give 46% of it to the government.. so basicaly they are going to pass me enough to buy my 2nd house out in la.. i plan on living in this one.. therefor i dont see the need to have my wife work if the house is paied off and i have a good income.. However if she wants to work I don't think its my right to tell her what to do. I only want my wife to stay home because im not big on having strangers baby-sit my children,
ok.. I guess to sum it up.. I think I have a lot of quality's about you I like. I don't want you to compromise your beliefs however there is so much more you should look at than just god.. I had a friend that because freaky and did not leave the house other than to go to church.. and he would tell me I was going to hell when sneezed ... and I was like bro you need help.. im not saying your like that.. and I hope your not that extreme ..however I think the fact you have god in your life is a good thing.. and I have a lot of respect for you :-) and im happy I met you and I think god had wanted me to meet you for some reason
And near the end of our emails... the ultimate line!!!
if your open minded and still want to chat let me know and ill tell you more about me... if not it suck that I don't have a chance with a woman that could potentially but a amazing wife and mother for my children :-(
Arthur:
hello like to meet u . u look nice
and it is a nice smile on your face.
beautiful girl. what to become friends
and talk on internet.
Whipple:
Hi Lisa, I must admit that I laughed when I read that at some point laundry is inevidible!! NICE My mother doesn't say I should marry a farmer, but she would like to see me move back to the midwest. I loved reading your profile and as far as the Bible goes a couple of my fav books are Laments (gets pretty deep when it talks of mother's eating their children) and Luke. I don't mean to sound boring picking a gospel, but Luke tells it in a way the other 3 just don't.
I wanna meet a down-to-earth, cool girl like you so check out my profile and if ya have time look at SpiderBABY, my number 2 friend. I am the drummer in the band, it's my dream and my passion! Take care and hope to hear from ya....
Whip
G:
I went through your profile inside out and the first thing that got my attention was your pics. I dont know how you look so damn cute? It cant be just the great angles ;) Of course then I also took some more time and read your profile to see that we got a few things in common. Well if you like what you see over here and read my profile as well, maybe we can talk sometime? I do want to emphasize reading my profile.. since I like to stay honest.
Oh yea Im not tryin to get into your panties..so dont get em up in a bunch already. And feel free to holla at me on AIM as ________ and YAHOO as ______. I m just givin that out to you since you dont seem like a stalker.
Hit me up if you like
-G
be easy
Do not open till xmas
ha- you're soo impatient! ;p i read your page and there's something interesting i noticed about you. im curious.. what are your thoughts on being romantic? like, when is it too early to display that side of you when you're just getting to know someone?
*~*~Sweetie~*~* (there are no words)
hi
how r u ?
i m tiffanie
do u mind being friends or u have yahoo IM to chat
Dr. Peter
Hi
I just saw your profile on myspace and see that you are single and not that far away from me. I live in Irvine. I would like to get to know you better. I am a down to earth person. I am fairly educated, got a doctorate in Satellite communication systems, used to work for NASA. I own a small engineering firm in Irvine. I am musical and I play the violin. Like the outdoors, surfing, skiing, tennis etc.
You can call me or email me, maybe we can get together for a coffee or something more. If interested, my email is _______ and my yahoo messenger is _______.
My cell phone is ______
Peter
Link
soooo, how's that whole 'im hot' thing going for ya? because you are...very hot.
My most eager internet suitor ever was a guy named Tom. His first email he sent me was this (and I should never have written back!):
i like your profile... but why huckabee ?? its interesting how he came from nowhere and now he is the front runner.. please explain :-)
Half way through our communication he sent this:
so tell me more about you what do you want to do with your life? I am planning to retire early and travel the world. im going to Italy in a few months. it should be fun in going wine tasting there . lol its going to be so much fun. I trying to set rooming with my suppliers so I can stay at the vineyards. oh yeah.do you like wine?
you should also know im very old fashioned I think the man should take care of his wife and family. I don't even think I want my wife to work while the children are young and not in school. well.. since im putting all the cards on the table.. i should explane this better.. i come from a very wealthy family.. my parents are in the process of passing money to me that way i dont have to give 46% of it to the government.. so basicaly they are going to pass me enough to buy my 2nd house out in la.. i plan on living in this one.. therefor i dont see the need to have my wife work if the house is paied off and i have a good income.. However if she wants to work I don't think its my right to tell her what to do. I only want my wife to stay home because im not big on having strangers baby-sit my children,
ok.. I guess to sum it up.. I think I have a lot of quality's about you I like. I don't want you to compromise your beliefs however there is so much more you should look at than just god.. I had a friend that because freaky and did not leave the house other than to go to church.. and he would tell me I was going to hell when sneezed ... and I was like bro you need help.. im not saying your like that.. and I hope your not that extreme ..however I think the fact you have god in your life is a good thing.. and I have a lot of respect for you :-) and im happy I met you and I think god had wanted me to meet you for some reason
And near the end of our emails... the ultimate line!!!
if your open minded and still want to chat let me know and ill tell you more about me... if not it suck that I don't have a chance with a woman that could potentially but a amazing wife and mother for my children :-(
Monday, January 12, 2009
Wow.
Deus ex machina or reason #501 to delete my myspace account?
Hi Lisa,
We recently finished a nationwide search and found a good looking, athletic, very down-to-earth and educated guy who is ready to settle down with the right woman. It's our job to find her!
I found your Myspace profile and am approaching you because from what I can tell, I think you might be a match for him. If you're interested, I'd love to speak to you more about this project. I can be reached at either the number or email below to help explain in more detail.
Thanks and I look forward to speaking with you soon,
Melanie
Magical Elves Casting (this is a link to their myspace page)
MagicalElves (their website)
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