Monday, February 9, 2009

Friday, February 6, 2009


Dear Annie,

Do you ever feel mortal? Sometimes I'll touch my skin and think of all the muscles, sinews, organs, bones and blood that lay just beneath the surface. I can't quite fathom how I'm a living, breathing, thinking, feeling human being. Probably the closest one can get to being solely spirit is to be in a quiet, dark, weightless, soundless environment.

When I got home from work today, I filled my bathtub with hot water, turned out all the lights,  and closed the bathroom door. Then I immersed myself to the point where the only part of me above the water was my nose. I stayed this way for a long time.

Have you ever opened your eyes underwater? I'm assuming most people have. It is odd, though, opening your eyes and seeing nothing but darkness. There is no real way for your eyes to tell that they are in water at all!

In boarding academy I used to drag my plastic desk chair into the shower stalls. There was an endless supply of hot water and I would sit in there for well over an hour with my eyes closed. Sometimes I would take a book. My favorite book was Peter Pan. It is a shorter story, and I think I printed most of it out onto one piece of paper and laminated it. That way it wouldn't get wet.

I went swimming at 5:30 this morning in the rain. What is it about water that is so soothing? 

Well, sorry for this brooding blog. I do believe it is time for me to sleep. Hopefully it will be a good 12 hours before I am conscious again...