Saturday, September 19, 2009

Saturday Night Baker

Dear Annie,

This evening I found myself driving through an LAPD checkpoint.

"Ma'am, have you had anything to drink tonight?"

There are so many witty retorts I could have used:

"I wish."

"Not yet."

"You busy later?"

"Is it free drink night with the LAPD? I'll
take an Amaretto Sour."

But as the officer bent over and shined his flashlight on me, it was apparent by the look on his face that he did not require an answer. My corduroy pants, cleavageless shirt, messy hair and salivating mouth, made it obvious that I was a girl on a different sort of mission.


That's right, Christian girls don't drink. Instead, I sheepishly said "No," and drove on to the grocery store, where I had to suffer through the humiliation of a bag boy making fun of my ever so conspicuous shopping cart.

"Mmmm. Mmmm. Ghirardelli double chocolate brownies. You know you could get a Hershey's bar to go with this on aisle 4... or a nice carton of homogenized whole milk."

I informed him that the two pints of Häagen-Dazs accompanying my purchase would suffice.

Now it is midnight, and I have a whole batch of brownies sitting on my counter along with those pints of Vanilla and Amazon Valley Chocolate ice cream in my freezer (which I barely touched).

I think I have finished reading all three amusing posts on craigslist for the night, so now it is time to go to sleep.

MADE BROWNIES, CAN'T FINISH - 29 - (North Hollywood)

I made brownies tonight and there is no way I'll be able to eat them all by myself.

I'm a SWF, cute, intelligent, not fat (yet), looking for a kind, honest, Christian man who likes baked goods. If we have a connection, there may be room for seconds.

Must love ice cream.

No nuts.

Delectably Yours,


PetsAreFood said...


David Cho said...

"No Nuts."

That's the best line ever. Hahaha