Movie Sweater

Dear Annie,

As a single 29 year old, I have finally learned the joys of going to a movie all by myself. It is quite nice, actually. I am able to eat at whichever restaurant I choose, and I don't have to feel guilty for watching a movie I want to see and no one else does.

I don't go that often... but when I do, it's an event! I pull back my slightly unkempt hair into a pony tail, and throw on my movie sweater. Yes, that's right! I have a favorite sweater to wear to the movies. Normally clothing wears out after a while. Not this sweater. I must have washed it hundreds of times and it still looks brand new. In fact, I've had it for eleven years. It is the most amazingly comfortable sweater in the world... it is red... plaid... polyester... and the thing is three sizes too big for me. It belonged to my high school sweetheart, Michael Bork.

Michael dumped me for my ex-roommate Breanna right after I graduated. The two of them were married last year, but I STILL HAVE THE SWEATER. I'm thoroughly convinced that I got the better deal.

Some may find this odd... firstly that I would keep it, and secondly that I would be so fond of the thing as to tote it along on my solitary movie expeditions, but I do not attach sentiments to objects like some people do. That is simply unhealthy behavior.

I suppose I'll throw it out the day I get married. Perhaps it can be the "something old" or, even better the "something borrowed" at my wedding. Though I suppose if I marched down the aisle wearing that wretched thing it would be a lot more difficult for the poor fellow facing me to say "I do!"

Oh well... a little test of true devotion never hurt anyone.

Cheerio,
Taintedsky