Ne’er the Twain Shall Meet

Dear Annie,

I had to 'design' a bridge once in 7th grade...out of toothpicks. All I remember about the creative process was the smell of the glue.

My parents were big on school projects. They would usually commandeer them. One time I had to make a system that would perform a task using the least amount of initial energy. My father helped me do this. I think he pretty much created the whole system. It started with a screw. As you unscrewed this screw it would pull a string through a pulley system, which would then yank at a lever, which would pull a cart up an inclined plain, dumping a bar of soap out onto a guillotine that would chop a carrot. This project must have taken my father 50 man-hours. It was a masterpiece.

Another time my mother helped me make a map of Greece out of sawdust and wood glue. She was so enthralled with this project she became upset when I tried to help paint the map. The end result is truly a piece of fine art. My mom still has it. It used to hang in my bedroom but now she has it displayed in a cabinet, I think.

But by far the greatest Gilbert family project ever undertaken was my 4th grade mission project. We did not simply cut up a shoe box and paint it brown...oh no...my father spent three days in the garage forming little clay bricks that we used to mason walls on a piece of finished wood. I say "Gilbert family project" because my whole family helped on this one. Even Laurie. This creation was so exquisite that the school faculty displayed it in the middle of the table during one of their board meetings. My mother took pictures of the thing and sent them to the actual mission! We also still have this work of 4th grade art displayed in the family home.

There were others, but I won't bore you.

All this talk of women and careers…my father considers me a waste of good intelligence. Once a month he'll drive out here and have lunch with me, trying to get me back in school. "You could pursue medicine...or archaeology..." He is willing to slave away his retirement years at an unfulfilling job so that he can live vicariously through my adventures. I don't want him wasting another penny on me, frankly. I'll admit, though, for a moment it was tempting. Being single at 28 makes you second-guess what you want to do with your life. I dreamt of living the single life for a minute...pursuing those things that "women aren't supposed to pursue," according to you. I could have had that high-powered career if I had wanted.

The truth is I don’t have the motivation. I am content with the idea of having a family, a garden and a pet chicken.

I wonder how much influence parents really have on their children? I am frightened my son will watch sports, and that my daughter will want to be a cheerleader (I know you’d be delighted with such children).

Seeing pictures of you in high school makes me realize how different we once were. We definitely would have hated each other in high school, or, should I say, I would have hated you. You probably wouldn’t have given me a second thought.

All differences aside, I'm glad we met!

Love,
Taintedsky